Love Without Measure
by FrostyFingers
Summary: "What is wrong with me?" "There's nothing wrong with you." The moment all of us Lizzington shippers squealed in delight. My take on the events of "The Decembrist" [Lizzington]


**Love Without Measure**

"What is wrong with me?" She asked with tears in her eyes.

He winced when he saw the first drops roll down her cheeks. Stepping towards her, he said quietly, "there's nothing wrong with you." He leaned in and gently touched his lips to her skin, close to her mouth but not nearly as close enough as Liz would've liked, much to her dismay. "There's nothing wrong with you," he repeated and pulled her close, dropping a kiss to her head while he wrapped his other arm around her.

She sagged against him, her own arms wrapping themselves around his waist as she let go of her emotions, simply thankful for his rapid forgiveness.

Yes, she had lied to him, had kept this from him, something he had obviously never considered she would do. He had called her out on it at the post office, had called her Elizabeth. A shiver ran through her when she remembered how he had used her full first name, the way he had looked at her had told her he was disappointed with her.

He had switched back to their professional situation then and it had hurt, a whole lot, if Liz was being honest with herself. She realized that he was giving her a taste of her own medicine. This was how she had treated him for months without any reason; but it was him holding her now, comforting her while she cried. Cried about something that could have been averted easily, should have been averted if she had just told him.

He would have helped her, of course he would have. He would always take care of her, she knew that. Yet, she had felt the need to control at least this aspect of her life. Thinking back, she could see just how stupid that had been.

A sob escaped her throat and she buried her face into the crook of his neck. His arms tightened around her, both of them were wrapped around her shaking form now.

"Shh now... No more of that," he tried to soothe, rubbing his hands over her back. "It's alright, sweetheart. It's alright."

"I'm so sorry, Red," she cried out.

"I know. Come on now, I'll take you home."

She reluctantly let go of him, somewhat embarrassed about her recent behavior. She had cried in front of him, again. She wasn't supposed to break down in front of him, wasn't supposed to cry into his shoulder, to let herself be comforted by him, but there had yet to be someone who had such a calming effect on her as he did.

"Sweetheart?" He called out softly, drawing Liz out of her thoughts. She looked at him, finding his eyes watching her while a gentle smile curled at the corner of his mouth.

She mentally shook herself and straightened her back. "Sorry, I zoned out there," her voice still hadn't found its usual strength.

He took a step closer and put both of his warm hands against her cheeks, his slightly calloused thumbs wiping away the wet streaks her tears had left. "I noticed," he replied with fondness. He stepped back and then took one of her hands in his. "Let's get out of here." She couldn't find it in her heart to complain when he started pulling her with him.

"Raymond." She had almost forgotten that Dembe had been there as well. Had he witnessed her breakdown? "It is urgent," the tall man said.

It seemed as if the two of them had a silent conversation, and Liz felt as if she was intruding somehow.

"We'll take Lizzie to one of the houses first," Red replied after a moment.

"It's okay, I can take a cab."

"I'd feel better if we took you there."

She pulled her coat more tightly around herself. "I'm sure you have better things to do." She could already see his mouth open to argue against that, but she beat him to it. "Tend to your business. I'll take a cab, don't worry about it."

He worked his jaw, and Liz noticed that her hand was still tightly clasped in his. "I'll bring dinner. Italian?"

For the first time that night she actually managed to smile. "Chinese," she countered.

Red playfully rolled his eyes at that. "I'm sure you already have more MSG than blood in your system. We need to work on your eating habits."

"I like Chinese," she replied.

"Alright," he caved, of course he would. He pulled her close again and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'll bring Chinese," he said against her skin. The thumb of her hand, she hadn't realized she had put against his chest, rubbed over the fabric of his vest in agreement.

"I'll see you later then. Be careful."

The worry in her voice sent sparks directly to his heart. "I should be telling you that," he replied. "Text Dembe when you get there please." She nodded and squeezed his hand once more before she turned and left the wreck.

Red looked after her for another moment until he turned to his long time friend. "Let's go."

THEBLACKLIST THEBLACKLIST THEBLACKLIST

After her cab had been caught in a traffic jam for twenty long minutes, Liz had decided to walk the rest of the way, so she paid the man and left the vehicle. She walked down the almost empty streets of DC when a the door to a dimly lit bar on the other side opened. It would have meant nothing to her if not for the man walking out. She recognized the posture immediately, the way he walked. It could have been a coincidence, but then the man looked left and right and Liz knew. She was glad that she was partially hidden in the darkness when the man continued walking down the street and into a dark alley.

She had an uneasy feeling about this, but couldn't understand why. The door opening again got her attention, and a breath caught in her throat. It was Dembe with Red following close behind as they both made their way to the car. She swallowed with difficulty as tears of anger started rising in her. That bastard had pretended to care about her, had pretended that she meant something to him. It had all been a farce. How dare he do that to her! How dare he judge her, when it was him that was working with Tom!

THEBLACKLIST THEBLACKLIST THEBLACKLIST

"I come bearing gifts." As soon as the words had left his mouth, a plate hit the wall next to his head, breaking into millions of pieces. Red stopped in the entryway of his burrowed living room and looked at the mess on the floor. "And here I thought you liked Chinese." Another plate made its way towards him and this time he had to duck away so it wouldn't hit him. It shattered somewhere in the hall behind him.

Red looked at the woman standing in the kitchen, already pulling more of the porcelain from her cupboard. "As much as I enjoy a passionate woman, I prefer her in a set of cool sheets. Just what are you doing, sweetheart?"

Liz threw another plate at him, which he sidestepped again. "You should be thankful my gun is upstairs, you son of a bitch!" She yelled.

He frowned at her words. "Should I have brought Italian after all?" This time a cup hit the wall behind him. "Alright, what's wrong Lizzie?"

"How can you even ask me that?! What kind of man are you?! Is everything just a game to you? You bastard!" Her voice was high-pitched.

Red looked truly confused. "Lizzie, what happened?"

She laughed sarcastically. "You're such a twisted son of a bitch, Reddington," Liz said in an icy voice. "You would do anything to get whatever it is you want, wouldn't you? I'm just means to an end after all." He shook his head and started protesting. "Shut up! Just shut up!" His mouth clicked shut, but he looked slightly angry himself now. "It was all just a hoax. Everything. You even had some fucking killer gut my pretend-husband, the man that also works for you, so I would start trusting you! You kept pretending that he was the bad guy you had to protect me from, when in fact it was you that had him placed in my life!"

"That is not true," Red told her firmly.

"You're a fucking liar, Reddington! All this time you kept pushing me into believing Tom was the bad guy, because you knew, since you were the one to pay him! And after finding out that you were right, you knew that I would finally trust you! That was your plan all along!"

He started walking towards her, his hands up in surrender. "Lizzie –"

This time the plate only missed him by inches, and Red could barely contain a flinch. "You fucking played me! Made me believe all those lies!" Tears were running down her cheeks for the second time that day and it broke his heart. "I hate you for doing this to me! I hate myself for falling for all your shit! You really are a puppeteer, Reddington and I was your puppet. Well, no more, you hear me? We're done! I don't want to fucking see you again!"

"Lizzie –"

"Keep your lies to yourself, you bastard!"

"I have never lied to you," he told her, almost standing next to her now.

She shook her head at his words. "I fell for that once, I'm not doing it again."

"Who told you those lies, Lizzie?"

"Lies? You're the only one who keeps lying to me!" She shouted. "No one had to tell me, because I saw you! I saw that bastard leaving that damn bar, Reddington! And I saw that you walked out of the very same bar, so don't you dare deny that he works for you! That you paid him for all this shit _I_ had to go through!"

"Yes, I met with him, but I did not pay him, I did not order anyone to play house with you." He stopped right in front of her, looking into her cold eyes, wanting her to believe him. "I did not play you." He had anticipated that she would try to slap him, so when her hand flew towards his face, Red caught her wrist easily and pinned her to the fridge, holding both her hands against the cold metal. "_Elizabeth_," he spoke in a deep voice. "I swear to you, I have never, _never_ lied to you. I met with him, but I did not pay him for anything. I got him documents to leave the country." Her eyes grew even bigger at that. "I told him that he's to never see you again. I have _never_ lied to you, Lizzie," he said again.

She struggled against him, willing to break free so she could bash his head in, but his grip on her was tight; she couldn't manage to escape. Maybe she was driven by anger, maybe her anger had just fueled her passion, but before she knew what she was doing, her head shot forward and she closed her lips over his in a bruising kiss.

Taken by surprise, it took Red a good couple of seconds to realize what was happening. In the end, it was her scent that made his body move and he released a low moan before he started to kiss her back. Her initial move had been slightly painful, almost punishing, but now that he was participating with one of his hands against her cheek and his lips softly moving over hers, she had gentled her movements, her anger moving to the back of her mind.

He released her other hand, and as soon as she was freed, Lizzie wound her arms around his neck; her nails scratching over the back of his head and she willed this kiss to never be over. In the end, exhaustion made itself clear and she could no longer hold herself upright. She sagged against him, both physically and mentally too drained to stop her body from doing so, but he was right there to catch her, to hold her close, just like he had done before, like he would do so again whenever she needed him.

"Please promise me that this isn't a lie. That you wouldn't do this to me," she whispered almost inaudibly into his neck.

His lips moved over her hair in a series of gentle kisses until he angled his head downwards to talk directly into her ear. "I would never hurt you like this. You have to believe that. Don't you know how much you mean to me?" She started trembling, and Red tightened his arms around her immediately. She sniffled a little before pulling her head back to look at him. "I promise you, I will never lie to you. And I'm sorry for not telling you about the way I would be handling Tom. I should have told you."

She still had her arms wrapped around his neck, and she used that grip on him to pull him in for another gentle kiss. "I believe you." He smiled brightly at her, and Liz thought that that must be the most beautiful thing she had ever witnessed. He pulled her back into his chest and rested his head on top of hers, both now staring at the mess she had left. "I'm sorry for throwing these at you."

"Well, look at the bright side." His voice send vibrations through her body, making goosebumps rise on her skin. "We get to spend even more time together that way."

"And why is that?" She asked with a smile.

"We need new dishes." Liz laughed out loud. "And though I admit this is my fault, you threw them. You'll have to go shopping with me."

She shook her head at him before sealing his lips with hers once again. This time it was her that couldn't keep in the moan as he gently coaxed her mouth open with his tongue. Their tongues met in a lazy tango while both let their hands move freely over the other's body.

Red hummed in appreciation when he felt her fingers working on the knot of his tie. "The shopping... can... wait.." He ground out between kisses. "At least... a couple... of days." She gently bit his lower lip before sucking the flesh into her mouth, and with another groan he lifted her into his arms, holding her tightly so she wouldn't drop, and started walking towards the living room. Liz immediately closed her legs around his waist and started laughing when his lips tickled the exposed skin of her throat.

He gently laid her on the couch and followed suit, immediately pulling her into his chest. She kissed the side of his head, enjoying the prickling sensation of his stubble before smiling at him, content to just be held for the time being.

"I think it's also time for a new bed." He grinned cheekily.

She opened her mouth, wanting to reply. Something about him being a little too presumptuous, but she never managed to do so as his mouth swallowed any reply she might have thought of.

* * *

><p>AN: Special thanks goes to my wonderful beta and one of my best friends, jackandsamforever! Also to redisthenewblackington for helping out with the title once again as well as calming me when I'm about to freak out. To tmmachado for loving everything I do, though I still do NOT get that and to my mate, greeneyesandgoldenlashes, for brainstorming with me!<p>

Disclaimer: Nothing but my feels are mine.


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